I know;

I've decided that all in all, I am no more than a list of facts, questions and realisations. So, whilst I decide who I am, I write what I know.

I know:

That you should brake into a corner, and accelerate out of it.
That preschoolers eat the cheese before the crackers.
That it's okay to wear your pyjamas all day, as long as nobody sees you.
That you can't shave your legs properly without bending your knee.
That in order to do a jette, you must stretch first.
That jack-jumps are impossibly hard for an inflexible person such as myself.
That I would die for a few select people.
That I would rather live in Paris than almost anywhere else overseas.
That the first fifteen digits of pi are inscribed into my brain forever.
That nerd school is the best place to be.
That when you're in Mexico, you should purchase a bullet-proof vest.
That reality TV is not the demise of the world, merely the cure.
That you have to cook Kraft Mac 'n' Cheese for three minutes and forty seconds.
That people who eat red meat are more likely to die of cancer than those who don't.
That Thursday nights have the best television.
That Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd are the perfect, dreamy-haired, couple.
That satin pillowcases are too cold in Winter, and too hot in Summer.
That flannelette pyjamas are the most comforting while eating soup.
That Sizzler makes the best cheese bread.
That Doctor Spencer Reed is the most attractive nerd in the universe.
That jasmine smells best at dusk and dawn.
That the beach is most beautiful at midnight.
That the hours between twelve and one at night are the 'witching hours'.
That I can not hula hoop to save my life.
That nephrons have afferent and efferent arterioles, the afferent above the efferent.
That Carmex solves any problems that you may have.
That to ward off witches, you stay within a circle of salt.
That if I were part of a reality show, it would be 'The Contenders; Series 7'.
That the Saw movies are less scary due to the lack of reality.
That strawberry roll-ups get stuck in your teeth more than blackberry roll-ups.
That my cat is secretly a Dibbuk.
That I would rather eat snails than sausages.
That gardenias smell like heaven and vanilla.
That you can only go to HJ's on a Friday, with a group of at least six people sharing one drink.
That the original SMT kids will always be the best.
That Disneyland will always be the happiest place on earth.
That beer tastes remarkably better if you drink it very quickly.
That hopscotch only works on driveways.
That only two electrons fit inside a single orbital.
That there are only two books in the world that make me cry.
That giant rainbow lollipops taste better if you share.
That if you tuck the hem of your dress a certain way, you can hang upside down for hours.
That there are four packets of tissues in my LaLou handbag.
That I can still play 'Fur Elise' on piano.
That I can do a backward somersault, and a french kick-jump.
That Lucy did not have a haircut today.
That someday soon we will be able to grow stem cells into organs.
That Brisbane City Council buses always run late, and never early.

This is what I know, a summation of my life's work.
What I tell you three times is true.


Joey never met a bike that he didn't want to ride.
And I never met a Toby that I didn't like.
Scotty liked all of the books that I recommended.
Even if he didn't, I wouldn't be offended.